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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I'm still here


Sunday, March 11, 2007

Dementia with Lewy bodies is the second most frequent cause of hospitalization for dementia, after Alzheimer's disease. Current estimates are that about 60-to-75% of diagnosed dementias are of the Alzheimer's and mixed (Alzheimer's and vascular dementia) type, 10-to-15% are Lewy Bodies type, with the remaining types being of an entire spectrum of dementias including frontotemporal lobar degeneration, alcoholic dementia, pure vascular dementia, etc.

Dementia with Lewy Bodies (DLB) exhibits clinical overlap between Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease. Pathologically, it is characterized by development of abnormal proteinaceous (alpha-synuclein) cytoplasmic inclusions, called Lewy bodies, throughout the brain. These inclusions have similar structural features to "classical" Lewy Bodies seen subcortically in Parkinson's disease. Additionally, there is a loss of dopamine-producing neurons (in the substantia nigra) similar to that seen in Parkinson's disease, and a loss of acetylcholine-producing neurons (in the basal nucleus of Meynert and elsewhere) similar to that seen in Alzheimer's disease. Cerebral atrophy (or shrinkage) also occurs as the cerebral cortex degenerates. Autopsy series have revealed that the pathology of DLB is often concomitant with the pathology of Alzheimer's disease. That is, when Lewy Body inclusions are found in the cortex, they often co-occur with Alzheimer's disease pathology found primarily in the hippocampus, including: neurofibrillary tangles (abnormally phosphorylated tau protein), senile plaques (deposited beta-amyloid protein), and granulovacuolar degeneration.

Within DLB, the loss of cholinergic (acetylcholine-producing) neurons is thought to account for the degradation of cognitive and emotional functioning as in Alzheimer's disease, while the loss of dopaminergic (dopamine-producing) neurons is thought to account for the degradation of motor control as in Parkinson's disease. Thus, DLB is similar in some ways to both the dementia resulting from Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease. In fact, it is often confused in its early stages with Alzheimer's disease and/or vascular dementia (multi-infarct dementia). The overlap of neuropathologies and presenting symptoms (cognitive, emotional, and motor) may make an accurate differential diagnosis difficult to reach.

Dementia with Lewy Bodies is not a DSM-IV recognized diagnosis. (Note: DSM-IV was published in 1994.) In 1996, a consortium of scientists initially proposed and later revised diagnostic guidelines. Central features of DLB include progressive cognitive decline, typically with impairments in memory, visual-spatial abilities, and/or attention. Core features include fluctuating cognition with variations in attention and alertness, recurrent visual hallucinations (typically early in the disease), and motor features of parkinsonism. DLB patients also often experience repeated falls, syncope (fainting), transient loss of consciousness, and hypersentivity to neuroleptic medications. Generally, DLB is diagnosed when cognitive symptoms develop within a year or two of movement disorder/Parkinsonian symptoms. Recent research suggests that presence of sleep disturbance may also be useful in differentiating DLB from other forms of dementia.

[edit] Treatment

The treatment of DLB, as with Parkinson's disease, involves striking a balance between treating the motor and emotive/cognitive symptoms. Treatment of the movement portion of the disease can typically result in worsening hallucinations and psychosis, while treatment of the hallucinations and psychosis can result in worsening movement symptoms. The use of atypical antipsychotics (especially quetiapine) and cholinesterase inhibitors (especially rivastagmine) represent the treatments of choice, but these are all aimed at palliation as there is no cure. The use of memantine may be recommended, and may represent a means to slow or prevent the decline of cognitive function, although strong evidence to support or disprove this is lacking.

Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB) is also known under a variety of other names including, Lewy Body dementia (LBD), Diffuse Lewy Body disease (DLBD), Cortical Lewy Body disease (CLBD), and Senile dementia of Lewy type. All incorporate the name Lewy, as Dr. Frederick Lewy (1885-1950) was first to discover the abnormal protein deposits ("Lewy Body inclusions") in the early 1900s.











Multi-infarct dementia, also known as vascular dementia (VD), is the second most common form of dementia after Alzheimer disease (AD) in the elderly (persons over 65 years of age). The term refers to a group of syndromes caused by different mechanisms all resulting in vascular lesions in the brain. Early detection and accurate diagnosis are important, as VD is at least partially preventable.

The main subtypes of VD described at the moment are: vascular mild cognitive impairment, multi-infarct dementia, vascular dementia due to a strategic single infarct (affecting the thalamus, the anterior cerebral artery, the parietal lobes or the cingulate gyrus), vascular dementia due to hemorrhagic lesions, small vessel disease (which includes vascular dementia due to lacunar lesions and Binswanger disease), and mixed AD and VD.

Vascular lesions can be the result of diffuse cerebrovascular disease or focal lesions (or a combination of both, which is what is observed in the majority of cases). Mixed dementia is diagnosed when patients have evidence of AD and cerebrovascular disease, either clinically or based on neuroimaging evidence of ischemic lesions. In fact VD and AD often coexist, especially in older patients with dementia.




Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) is one of three clinical syndromes associated with frontotemporal lobar degeneration. FTD selectively affects the frontal lobe of the brain and may extend backward to the temporal lobe.

Symptoms can be classified (roughly) into two groups which underlie the functions of the frontal lobe: behavioural symptoms (and/or personality change) and symptoms related to problems with executive function.

Behavioural symptoms include apathy and aspontaneity or oppositely disinhibition. Apathetic patients may become socially withdrawn and stay in bed all day or no longer take care of themselves. Disinhibited patients can make inappropriate (sometimes sexual) comments or perform inappropriate acts. Patients with FTD can sometimes get into trouble with the police because of inappropriate behaviour such as stealing.

Executive function is the cognitive skill of planning and organizing - patients become unable to perform skills that require complex planning or sequencing.

Frontotemporal dementia occurs in patients with motor neurone disease (also known in the US as Lou Gehrig's disease or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) in a small number of cases. The prognosis for people with MND is worse when combined with FTD, shortening survival by about a year.[1]

Because FTD often occurs in people who are young (i.e. in their 40's or 50's) the effects on families can be severe. Patients often still have children living in the home. Financially, it can be devastating as the disease strikes at the time of life that are often the top wage earning years.








Semantic dementia (SD) is a progressive neurodegenerative disorder characterized by loss of semantic memory in both the verbal and non-verbal domains. The most common presenting symptoms are in the verbal domain however (with loss of word meaning) and it is therefore often characterized (incorrectly) as a primary language disorder (a so-called progressive fluent aphasia). When the word comprehension deficits predominate, the patient also fits the criteria for primary progressive aphasia (PPA).

SD is one of the three canonical clinical syndromes associated with frontotemporal lobar degeneration. SD is a clinically-defined syndrome, but is associated with predominantly temporal lobe atrophy (left greater than right) and hence is sometimes called temporal variant FTLD (tvFTLD).

It was first described by Professor Elizabeth Warrington in 1975 (Warrington EK. The selective impairment of semantic memory. Q J Exp Psychol. 1975 Nov;27(4):635-57) but was not given the name semantic dementia until 1989 (Snowden JS, Goulding PJ, Neary D. Semantic dementia: a form of circumscribed cerebral atrophy. Behav Neurol 1989;2:167-182.).

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[edit] Signs and Symptoms

SD patients often present with the complaint of word-finding difficulties. On further questioning, patients often appear to have lost the meaning of certain words (e.g. asking "What is a fish?"). As the disease progresses, behavioural and personality changes are often seen similar to those seen in frontotemporal dementia although cases have been described of 'pure' semantic dementia with few late behavioural symptoms.


                        
                  


Tuesday, October 31, 2006

why can't I bring myself to be honest with the world?

Why do I really care if they see how broken I am.

foolish, foolsih pride.

you inhibit my freedom.

you are the phantom I cannot escape.

restless I become, the longer I sit still, the longer I do nothing, but what is to be done? how can I live, when I don't know what for? how can I have a passion, when I don't know where it leads? how can I be so .. shallow. Mirroring my own insecurities the younger form boldly portrays herself. Attention. please, show attention. tell me I'm beautiful. why can I not at least be honest with myself? and this war wages within me, I'm so weary of trying to fight this. but to accept is death isn't it? where is the end? where is the beginning.. where is the solid ground in the swirling of this river. God, you're out there somewhere, and inside somewhere... where is your hand. my foolish pride will only let me drown.

ensnared by illusions, do I trick myself. No one wants to know the secret. Once they know they lose all respect for you. they know it's not real, but they want to believe the impossible can happen.

The world is filled with dirty, slimy, people. Did you not understand? this whole time the sacrifice, the obsession...the heartache, the performance.  this was for the look on their faces.

 

God.. you are not a magician, nor are you an illusion of the mind to content those who can find no good on this earth. God.. God.. you are the good of this world. in a world gone bad, but God, the secret is that it's not an illusion.. .

I'm confused.

and the play continues on, and the plot gets thicker, and the characters more intense..

and I...

           am restless


Saturday, October 28, 2006

the morning was wet.  clouded darkness inhibited the the opening of the suns giant burning eye. it's lids were closed in sleep. the lights passing by, causing reflections to beat back upon my peripheral. stepping forward I am met with a burst of air that chills, and refreshes, and tingles my skin.  misted wind gently releases the breathe held in. profound is what the question seems but why the praise if really what raises it is the ache within me? the mind plays back the months lived.  looking through the glss at the drops that course down, down, down..fingers reach and rest on the pane, cold to the touch.  it is this that makes me wonder. The fingers leave streaks. they were unable to stop me.  "I'm sorry."  I guess it's justmy honest truth that fails to reveal itself.  Just one slip of the tongue in the right direction..that would leadme out of this quiet desperation. It does hurt. beyond any reasonable explanation. certainly beyond the imagining that had been allowed.  much more than I can honestly comprehend. It runs deeper than I thought. and I wish I knew just when I had planted this seed. I'm still here. just trying to do the best I can. I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening. If I could have grasped the seriousness of the consequences of my actions.. I think maybe, I would have fought harder than I did. saying that now, after all this time, just seems like another excuse upon a huge pile of excuses, I know.  if only honesty could be the words that flow. pure in thought, unmingled with bitterness, or hurt. the true culmination of perfection. but instead, as the raindrops fall on my roof, and darkness continues to surround the sun, lights turn on. and I find myself physically, although perhaps momentarily, alone. Surprising how all it takes is silence. before the ache resurfaces, before my throat burns, and the salt is tasted by my lips. We can't go back can we. we can't erase the circumstances we now find ourselves in. the two of us, non-existent in the other's eyes. Is this how it will then be, if I may dare to call you friend. Sometime between the flatteries and the obsession we lost ourselves. When a heart evolved into  a thing to be owned, 'for the sake of love'  the purity died. We became shadows of ourselves my friend. It is here you lay. the corpse still beautified by the passing of times's falling out of memory. What was good, what was right still preserved, although the vivacious indwelling of your spirit no longer resides among them. Dead. And to the living, do we erect a memorium for the sake of holding up what no longer is? as though by doing so we can keep our hands and hearts, ears and eyes clean, and somehow exist outside of the bitterness of this new reality? Or do we lament the hole left. do we recognize the absence, by putting laws over what was yours, so they lay untouched, unused, just left to gather dust from now, until the end?  existence begins, when the thought stays on the subject for even small amounts of traceability. Numbing down out of confusion? and so I hide. I run from myself.  They all clamour around me with voices, with admissions of truth you only hear when one is given advice, or which is worse, pity.  Robbing the dignity of a heart torn the words crumble down my resolve. Tell no one. Yet to find the end of this memory that invades my dreams. I write with the pen to search out the mystery of this life. to find the truth.  To let you go. So that you are no longer a part of me, a part of what I was.  to be unaffected by the thought that you might be near. confessing honestly that the increase of my heart is not out of admiration, but rather, fear.  I will not always run from the thought of you. I will not always wake up screaming from a nightmare. I will not always cry myself to sleep.  but if Iwere to speak honestly, I still blame myself. and I fight against blaming myself. It still strikes me. At odd times and seemingly for no reason my lungs want air. Until I remember that you're gone. The leaves are falling to the ground now. some are being picked up by the wind and layed gently down on the brown grass. cynisim says they lie in wait of being trampled. How many more days will my thoughts run along these veins, and my heart continue on in this same brokeness.  Or is it like counting the rings of a tree. Like I used to. How many rings until you reach the heart of the tree? (how many more layers before I'm free of you)        

Broken dreams and memories/ blow away like so much ash/ on the wind/ and I wonder/ Angel with the crippled wings/ tell me do you really think/ you'll make it on your own/ run hide/ push me away/ don't you know that when you scream/ I cry/ when you cut yourself/ I bleed/ Angel with the crippled wings/ will you make it on your own

 after you burn clean, (out of the fire of affliction I have chosen you) and my broken dreams and memories are nothing but dust in my fist, ashes on the wind is all that will remain. and scars, that remind me that my past is real.

I watch as the rain courses down my window pane, and the trees bend in the grasp of the wind. breathing in. a sigh. I will keep going. some truth is worth finding out. and I wonder if you'll ever know it was for love. only, not yours.   the lights go out.    

       


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

the brush it gently eases
the colors glide softly together
forming
conforming to each other
       the backdrop of the easel
the shades of light on canvas
      my brush glides softly

quietly the sounds collide
quietly images appear
       some passs by behind me
phrases of interest strike my ear

   unfased by noise my brush glides softly

archs and bends and tones
blending into one
                 no repetition
each stroke evokes a new theme
             
               existence supercedes cerebral explosions

peace
              
       my brush glides softly over

golden rays
      
             oranges flaming
yellow that comforts
              my brush glides softly over

 
cool
                mist envelops
shrouded in blues
       I paint the hues
my brush glides gently over

deepening
richer
      full
brown emerges
              crowds disperse

my brush glides gently over

                

                       pause



        it's time to leave

aroused from existence
movement of the iris

green box packed neatly
          easel folded up
 
my feet glide softly away


chair is filled
 with no one in it
         the wind sits there
it's presence as real
                 as the hues
on my empty canvas




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